Life Decisions (a happening)

So, story. I'm not really sure if its funny. I just need to tell it. 

I was sitting on my bed in my room messing around on the computer when my elbow starts to itch. I turn to look at the offending appendage, and there is a spider on it. Before it had registered in my mind what was actually going on, I felt several moments of irrational fear during which I brushed it off in a lightning fast twitch and nothing occupied my mind but separating myself from the thing. Then I looked at it again as I contemplated how to kill it....and I realized how very cute it was. GAH. I thought a spider was cute!! Alas, I could not kill it. I knew, however, if I was to sleep at all tonight, I must remove it SOMEHOW.

I stared at it as I struggled internally through this thought process: If I can't kill it, I need something to move it outside with, but if I leave to get something to move it with it could (definitely would) get away and then I'll NEVER be able to sleep.I could move it with my hand. Nope, I could not move it with my hand. I could move it with something else. There's nothing here and if I take my eyes off of it, it will disappear. All interspersed with: I could kill it. .... but its so cute! GAH. This cycled through my brain several times as the tiny little (it must have been cute because it was tiny) offense to civilization walked at a leisurely pace across my sheets. (Not creepily in the slightest. If it had gone fast or creeped me out somehow, rational thought would not have been possible and it would have died swiftly.)

My struggles were just as great as a college kid deciding on a major, a philosopher contemplating the meaning of life, or a seven year old deciding on an ice cream flavor. My circumspection was cut short, however, by the spider reaching my blanket which it could then disappear into never to be seen again leading to paranoia all night. I had to make a decision. NOW. So, I grabbed the book next to me and stuck it between the spider and the blanket with millimeters to spare. I spent the next few hours or seconds, I'm not really sure since the philosophical debate in my head between killing it and letting it go continued, trying to get the spider onto the book somehow. I finally got it onto the white end page where it began furiously (but still not creepily) trying to figure out what was going on by running madly everywhere. I carried it to the window and opened it just as it moved to the cover. I almost lost it in the confusion of the words, but I saw him. I reached up and opened the window, then glanced back at the book as I prepared to release him. (I named him Sam.) Sam was gone. I looked all over the book but I could not see him. I looked around the immediate vicinity, and I could not find him. I knew he would disappear if I took my eyes off of him!!!

And that is the end of my story.

Except that my sister then came in, and since it was so fresh and so traumatizing, I had to tell her, and at the end of my tale my sister asked two questions:

"What book was it?"

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

"Where is the book?"

.... Book is outside. o_O