Funny story. After much toil, trial, and strife, I have finally managed to buy a cheap little house to serve as my shelter through the rest of my college years. I really have quite the set up here since my parents paid cash for it and so I am paying rent to them and theoretically not losing anything on it as I rent to own.
The problem is, this house is ridiculous.
Here are some of my favorite features in no particular order:
First, the roof. It seems that the roof will need to be replaced simply because much of it is no longer guaranteed to keep out the ice and snow. In fact, if we were to have a random snowstorm in July, I would probably be buried here with little hope of rescue and nothing to eat but canned chili and spaghettios. (The current staples of my college diet. I hope to add peanut butter and banana sandwiches soon.) In any case, just the fact that the roof needs repairing is not really very funny to me. What I love about it is that there are eight different types of roofing on my tiny little house.Yes, eight. Nine if you include the duct tape. Yes, duct tape. On my roof.
Second, the wiring. The wiring itself of this house is a little dated. Not surprising since the house was built in 1916. My favorite example of it though, was found by my older brother after I'd bought the house. He led me to the office area and pointed to a wire sticking out of the wall and then coiled and hung on a little hook. Ok, a little crazy, I know, but not the insanity he was making it out to be.
"Do you know what it is? Did you follow it? All the way to the end?"
It had looked to me like it was just a regular tv cable, added much later to the house so it ran around the outside instead of in the walls. I'd already shown him this on the front of the house so I didn't know what was so insane about finding another area that did that.
Only, it was not a tv cable. The piece that stuck out of the wall was a small black conduit for the extension cord that was permanently wired into the house at that area. An extension cord being used as permanent wiring. Following it outside it had two junctions where you could plug stuff in, all held together with electrical tape. I am not entirely sure it is fire safe.
Third, the plumbing. Ok, its an old house. I knew I would have to be gentle with the plumbing. I forgot to tell that to my friend (does he have no common sense?) who proceeded to clog my toilet. I'd even just finished telling him about how crazy the plumbing was and how my outdoor tap that my hose and sprinkler were hooked to refused to turn off unless I just shut off water to the whole house. (Yes, my lawn is beginning to look quite green again.)
Fourth, the wall. Between the kitchen and the living room is an inch and a half thick wall.
I just measured it. You could probably break it easily, dear reader.
Fifth, the water heater. We had to replace it. It takes up an eighth of the kitchen. It can't be mounted because its next to the inch and a half wall which can't support the holdings.
Sixth, the fridge. There is no room in the kitchen for a fridge, so I stuck it in my bathroom where there is space for a laundry unit.
Seventh, the...something. All the drawers and half the cabinets in the kitchen were covered with wallpaper featuring chickens and roosters on a beige background. I took it off. Lovely wood underneath, but its all sticky.
Eighth, the bugs. You'd be surprised at how agile box elder bugs are while they're mating. They can still sometimes outrun my fly swatter.
Ninth, the window-now-AC-unit-holder. There was a window that was made from slats of glass. It opened and closed like blinds. I don't know how to describe it beyond that. We took the slats out in preparation to put my AC unit there. It didn't quite fit. We took out the whole frame. It fits now. I'm not sure what we're going to do in the winter or about the eight inch gap at the top. Also, until I got a chain today, it was being held up by packing tape and a piece of my bunk bed frame.
Tenth, the random cement pourings. My favorite one is in the back at the base of the Apricot tree. I guess it was in danger of falling over or something and there was no dirt.
So that's how I ended up here--laying on my futon on the floor, typing, and eating popsicles that I'm pretty sure are made from watery Hershey's chocolate syrup.
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